tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
