a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
