every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
