...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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