Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize