I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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