she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
