I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
