I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain