Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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