My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
