they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
