yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
so much tequila, so little girl.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
