I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
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Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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