but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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