i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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