U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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