what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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