They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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