the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize