Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and she was petting her beer can
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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