do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
