Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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