so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
