i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
