i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
