Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
