All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize