apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
