You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
