Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
