Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
