the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
