Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize