make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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