But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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