I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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