Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
In America we eat man semen.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
