I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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