I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
