I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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