It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
