I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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