the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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