So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
