Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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