So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
