Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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