just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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