those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
