Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
