we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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