im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
