Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
