My Higher Power is John Stamos
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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