i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize