i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
