the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
