I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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