apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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