i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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