so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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