My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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