It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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