I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
