it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
