just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
